December 2011

Exclusive Photos of Salman Khan's New Year Party

Hey I guess, we Ek Tha Bandar crew members couldn't attend Salman Khan's new year party. However, he has been kind enough to send us its photos. Seems like he is having a blast with his jaat bhais.

Special Guests At Salman Khan's Birthday Party

From the left: Porn addicted Trade Analyst Komal Nahta (Komoi), In relationship with married women fake critic, Raja Sen (Reddiff), Gay looking and sounding anchor Rahul Kanwal (Aaj Tak), mujra loving critic Taran Adarsh (Bollywood Hungama) and last, cheapstar Salman Khan himself

Salman Khan's Birthday Pictures

Salman Khan is still partying with his guests. Perhaps, you are not invited, but no worries. We have some treats for you. Just take a look below. Yes, pictures from Salman's birthday party.

On his Birthday Salman Khan Replies to his Twitter Followers

This is from the team of Ek Tha Bandar
First of all, many unhappy returns of the day Salman Bandar Khan. May you die as soon as possible because you are not needed and wanted by anyone ever. Do not even think about marriage because no woman is interested in marrying you. Blame it on your personality which is a rare deadly disease. It simply has no cure.

Anyways, today before the grooving party, Salman Bandar has taken some time to tweet personally to his followers. Here is a sneak peak of that:

Salman Khan Gets The Best Gift for His Birthday

Cheapstar Salman Khan's birthday is almost near. So someone sent him a musical present. Just see below.

Bad Salman Khan News: Right from the Set of Ek Tha Bandar

While the entire world is rushing to theaters to watch Don2 our cheapstar Salman Bandar Khan has been showing reluctance to come out of his van. He is done for the day after giving one shot for Ek Tha Bandar. There has been actually some problems. "Aaj mausam bara shahrukh sa hai, aaj mausaaaam, aa gaya koii don 2 hai, koii don 2 hai, joh mujhay khah jaraha hai" stated Salman Bandar Khan. Before in the morning, he embarrassed Ek tha bandar crew by going all wild. Suddenly, he did the following:

A vet in the afternoon was called onto the set by Kabli Khan to know if Salman Bandar Khan would be able to continue working today. The news, however, is bad. Upon checkup, animal vet, Dr. Akbar Rao D'souza stated, "Mr. Salman has got his monthly Shahrukh Khan attack, this time the condition is severe. I prescribed him some medications. He must take bed rest at least one week at home". The situation for the crew is now even more complicated. Salman Bandar Khan is refusing to go home saying that he has fear that his family would tell him that they watched Don 2 and that it would destroy his three minutes of fame.

The last shot Salman Bandar Khan did was with his costar. Here is its sneak preview.

Revealing the Most Awaited Ek Tha Bandar Scene

Hold your breath zoo species. Today, we bring you the picture of the most awaited Ek Tha Bandar scene.

He is perfect for bandarians! Just see how naturally he is romancing with his costar. Can it be that something is really between the two? You'll never know!

Salman Bandar Does a Stunt For Ek Tha Bandar

Monkey Salman Khan does a stunt for his movie Ek Tha Bandar.

Why Salman Khan Does This????

Tree Climbing Sequence: From the Set of Ek Tha Bandar

Here is another pic of Salman Bandar climbing tree.

So real isn't it? Salman Khan climbs trees better than all other monkeys.

Educate Yourself: 3 Salman Khan Facts

Why did Sallu's hardcore fans hate Ra.1?
A. Because at the end of Ra.1 the good wins over evil and Salman's fans like when evil wins over good.

Why does Salman Khan take off his shirt in a movie and it becomes a hit?
A. Because Salman knows his fans are homosexual and only way to make his nonsense movies hit is by taking off his shirt.

How many criminals died when Salman Khan was born?
A. Too many to count.

Salman Khan Shows How Uneducated He is Through Twitter

Before, he killed animals and people. Now he is strangling English language. God, I hope you are reading this.

Is There Any Buyer Here? Salman Khan needs Help

Salman Khan has been again caught on camera with his blackbuck. Seems like he isn't getting any buyer.

There is some kind of anxiety in his eyes now. We urge interested party to come forward with a quote. Remember, by buying this blackbuck you will do a great job of placing food on the table of Salman Khan's massive family.

Latest Bathroom Scene from Ek Tha Bandar

Sorry for not keeping you updated on Ek Tha Bandar for a few days. I was out saving the world from the horror movie we call Bodyguard. Anyways, Salman Khan recently shot for a potty training scene. Here is the sneak preview.

Looks natural, doesn't it? The truth is that it is real. Kabli Khan took the shot right when Salman Khan was doing it in the bathroom.

The Perfect Woman for Salman Khan

So far we have come to know that no real woman wants to be with Salman Khan. But this does not mean all hopes are lost. There is still someone who is perfectly fit for him. See her picture below.

Yes, it is none other than Rakhi Sawant. Astrologers and psychologists confirm that Salman Khan is 100 percent compatible with her. They are just too alike.

Both are drama queens

Both of them have bad temper

Both are allergic to clothes

Both of them are obsessed with vulgarity

Both of them never wish to be regarded as brother and sister by the opposite sex.

Both of them are trying to be human through fake social work

Both of them are meaningless

Both of them want to get married, but can't find anyone

But relationship works best when there is also a healthy amount of differences between two partners. Voila! Rakhi Sawant and Salman Khan have that also!

Rakhi can dance, but Salman Khan can't. So she can have romantic evening after marriage, teaching Sallu a few dance steps.

Rakhi talks a lot, but Salman Khan doesn't. In this case, he can use his hobby of physical abuse to keep her mouth shut.

This a match made in heaven!

Sallu Joke: What's more stupid than Salman Khan movies?

Do you know the answer? No? Okay, then find this out from below:

Sallu Joke: A Conversation with Srk and Aamir

Salman:Meh is baar mera naya movie Bodyguard se tumhe defeat karunga!

SRK:Shahrukh ko harana mushkil hi nahin namumkin hai.

Aamir:Ok SRK I will tattoo it on my body so I never Forget It.

Spelling Checker Shows its Hatred for Aamir Khan

Who Can Make A Bodyguard’s Job Successful?

Har kaamiyaab BODYGAURD ke sir par ek DON ka haath hota hai

Upcoming Movie of Salman Bandar Khan and Aamir Kutta Khan

Things are getting quite exciting for Salman Khan. A new movie starring Salman Bandar and Aamir Kutta will be releasing very soon. Due to triple x contents, this movie is not going to be in your nearest theater.Don't feel sad. Introducing icing on the cake, you will be able to see it online and that is also for free. But just don't tell your parents about it. The movie's name is the Dirty Picture and here is its poster.

A serious pose by Salman Khan

Revealing Salman Khan's Hobby

When Salman khan is not shooting he gives into his hobby faithfully. Do you know what it is? Just see the picture below and you will have your answer.

Did You Know Ek Tha Bandar Was Ek Tha Tiger?

Yes, it is true. The first name of Ek Tha Bandar was Ek Tha Tiger. In fact, a poster of it was already released. Just see it below. Do you wish to know why the title was changed to Ek Tha Bandar?

People who named their pet dogs Tiger got offended by the title. Thus, Yash Raj thought to go for Ek Tha Bandar.

Double Dhamaka

Aab Ek Ek Tha Bandar blog Kay Saath Aur Ek Ek Tha Bandar blog Moft Moft Moft!

Sallu Joke: Bizarre Brain of Sallu Bandar Part 2

Salman driving on the WRONG SIDE of the road sadly says:
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Oh teri..!Aaj phir late ho gaya,
Saare log toh Waapis jaa rahe hain. . . . . . .

Join Ek Tha Tiger Hate Club

Salman Khan Runs With Bananas On the Set of Ek Tha Bandar

Here is the latest happening right from the set of Ek Tha Bandar:
Salman the bandar khan refused to do a song because he was not fed for couple of days. Kabli khan tried to tie a belt around his neck and forced him to dance. But it was of no avail. Salman bandar screamed. At one point, Yash Chopra came to the set and asked it what it wanted. Salman bandar replied, "mujhay khilao, barna may set main tor phor karumga". There was nothing else could be done. So bananas were brought to the set. Out of excitement, Salman bandar snatched three bananas and gave a run.

Why Salman bandar takes Aamir kutta for a Walk

Weight gain is a dangerous thing for dogs. It can end up giving them many complications. The major sign of weight gain is always the puffed up body of the kutta. In order to make them lose the extra pounds, they must be taken for walk. Below is an example. See how Aamir kutta is getting walked by Salman bandar.

Scientific Essay about Salman Khan Fans

Salman khan fans are usually quadruple with the exception for black bucks. But there are also some that scientists title as sub humans. Studies have shown that the brains of Salman Khan fans are damaged from the birth. This has made them more disabled than other sub humans. The brain damage basically makes them suffer from closed angle Glaucoma, speech disorder, and passive-aggressive behavior.

While closed angle Glaucoma and speech disorder have made them unable to comprehend and describe movies containing meanings and messages, the passive aggressive behavior has given them a thirst for blood and violence. They believe Salman khan’s movies have zero percent meanings and messages and portray violence perfectly. As a result, they cannot resist to become his fans.

All Salman Khan fans have common elements in their belief system. They are as follows:

Murdering innocent humans is cute.
Endangered specifies must be extinct.
Women should be beaten.
Dangerous criminals ought to be left to freely wander in public.
Alcohol abuse is macho.
Porn must be brought to family living room.
Ruining people’s career must be turned into a religion.
Kids must be taught how to curse and choose the cheapest professions.

Scientists have also revealed that it is extremely easy to identify Salman Khan fans even online. As a matter of fact, anyone can do it in a matter of seconds. Scientists say that since Salman Khan fans are disabled sub humans, they cannot write in normal fashion. Their sentences always lack punctuations and logic, but contain a series of grammatical mistakes and curse words designed to cover up their own insecurities and weaknesses. A recent survey has confirmed that 99 percent of the adult Salman Khan fans spent at least 7 months in jail. The remaining 1 percent makes up the teen sub humans who are said to be danger for the normal society of India.

Taken from Youtube: Fans of Salman Khan Struggle With Grammar and Punctuations

Sallu Joke: Sallu's Living Condition

Do you know why Sallu stays in Bandra?
Because bandra is similar to bandar.

Do you know why he lives in Galaxy apartment?
Because woh roz public say gali khata hai.

Serious Conversation Between Salman and Abhishek

Salmaan Khan- Aaj Mere Baap K Pas 14 Cars Hai
18 Bikes Hai,
4 Bunglow Hai,
3 Farmhouse Hai,
Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?

Abhishek Bachan replies:
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Mere Paas Teri Lover Hai!

Salman the Bandar Waits for Kabli Khan To Say Action

This is live from the Set of Ek tha Bandar.

How Salman Bandar Khan Feels Inside

Technology is very advanced now. A scientist invented a machine that records photos of how sub humans feel inside. This machine has been used on Salman the bandar's brain.Surprisingly, he turned out to be the best choice. This is what the machine has captured about how he views himself.

Leaked Lyrics of the Ek Tha Bandar Title Song

Before, songs used to be leaked. Now even lyrics are leaked. Here is their sample right from the movie, Ek tha Bandar of Salman the Bandar Khan.

Ek tha bandar...
Ek hai Bandar....
Haan, main hun
Woh bandar number one
Nahi ata mujhay gaari chalana
Meri driving dekho
Ouch, maine mardala ek insaan

Here is the shot:

More of Sallu Jokes

What will a mother tell to her son sleeping on footpath...? . . . Uth jaa warna Salman aajayega........
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Salman ne apne lifetime me sirf ek dialogue sahi kaha hai: 'Mujhe Khud ko bhi nahi pata ki main kitna kameena hu' frm Wanted..
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Srk says to salman "Mujhe Andhera Pasand hai salman ke aane waale kal ki yaad dilata hai"
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Dur se dekha toh salman apni pant sukha raha tha...

Pass jaa kar dekha toh 'dhinka chika' dance kar raha tha...
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Teri Meri, Meri Teri Prem Kahani Hai Mushkil
this song is made by himesh for salman khan
because salman ki ek bhi prem kahani in relationship me barabarrehti nahi
instead himesh was saying salman a gay
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Sallu Joke: What Humans Say About Bodyguard

Message from humans to Salman Khan about Bodyguard:

"Hum Par Ek Ehsaan karna

ki Aage kabhi acting mat karna"

Spicy Song leaked from the Sequel of Bodyguard.

Sallu Joke: Demotion of Salman Khan

2009 -->Wanted: IPS

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2010 -->Dabangg: Inspector

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2011 -->Bodyguard

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Upcoming Movies:

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2012 -->Security Guard

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2013 -->Watchman

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2014 -->Postman :-P :D

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2015 -->BHANGI

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2016 -->BHIKARI

Kamal kertay ho pandey ji...!

Those Who Actually Watched Bodyguard

Sallu's Part Time Jobs Caught on Camera

Everyone knows Sallu's family is of the size of Mt. Everest. Everyone knows that Sallu has to feed every member. One source of income is not enough for it. Thus, Sallu has taken up some part time jobs. Here are the pics.

Salman khan tries to sell his black buck

Sallu Bandar's Message for His Fans

Dance Sequence from the Movie Ek Tha Bandar

Sallu Joke: Bizarre Brain of Sallu Bandar

When Sallu was in jail aamir came to meet him. Sallu knews that Aamir bought a new car so sallu asks what its name was.

Aamir: I don't remember the name but it starts with T!!!!
Sallu bandar: But when I killed poor people on road my car started with petrol.

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Salman BARAF ka Tukda Haath Mein Le kar Gaur se Dekh Raha Tha.. Aamir ne Pucha Kya Kar Rahe ho lallu oh srry sallu? Salman Bola Dekh Raha hu. SaLa LEAK Kahan se ho Raha hai.