Big Boss The Clownish Show's Tale

Whether it is Dance India Dance or Indian Idol, every season, the realty shows try to come up with new twists. But Big Boss is failing in this badly, making it the number one cheapest low trp show on Indian tv. We aren't kidding. When Big Boss first came out, it was fun to watch. Arshad Warsi had an enigmatic personality and all the contestants made it worth watching. We knew the people. Most of them were either from film, music or fashion industry. It was clean (after Kashira left) and did not really scream "ILLUMINATI" despite the fact that the foreign ones were always more upfront about it. Season 2, 3 and so on became highly predictable. To make things worse, Salman's overacting and stupidity started making it intollerable. What is funny is that he made it 100 times more predictable that the previous ones. It seems this pathetic show is more about following strict tradition than anything else like a dish. Big Boss 7 hasn't ended, but we already know how its season 8 is gonna be. Even Indian audiences know how to cook it. Easy recipe. Have a look:

Contestants:
1 bail preferably salman khan
1 tablespoon of flop movie actors
2 cups of tv actresses,
1 raw celebrity married couple,
Half a cup of chakka from anywhere blended with 1 controversial randi or dancer found in item numbers to spice up the dish
any wildcard entry to taste

Preparation:
1. Clean and cut Salman khan into small pieces.
    Leave him in the oven to bake.
2. Put the rest of the ingredients in the bowl and stir. This is a tricky part. The mixture of randi and chakka is     very rich.If they overwhelm all the ingredients with their own flavor restart mixing everything together by       subtracting the the randi and chakka.Note that the bail meat demands randi and chakka. So try to keep       these ingreidents in your mixture as much as possible.
3. In the pan, simmer the mixture for as long as you can.
4. Add wildcard entry to taste and stir
5. Simmer
6. Simmer until it is gravy
7. Oops, we forgot that we left the bail in the oven.
8. Take it out
9. Sorry it is burned. But lets still try to make the dish
10. Pour the gravy over the bail.
11. Taste it.
12. Is the flavor of male contestants too much? Bail demands it to be remade.

Just kidding. What we were trying to say is that Big Boss is now a badly cooked piece of meat served only in hell. Its the same thing over and over.
1. The contest list we gave above shows who takes part in this show. But its always Salman Khan who decides who will be taking part. And now people who are in his camp are allowed to participate. Randis and gays are allowed to enter for free.
2. The contestants always fight about food.
3. They keep on talking. Sometimes they intentionally lie about the stuff written about them in the newspaper to make themseves look like innocent because camera is on. That's actually the reason why they are on the show.
4. The show starts to get dull and then Salman khan comes up with weird ideas to wake it up like forcing a contestant to mix a lot of salt in dishes so that the rest would go hungry the whole day.
5. Then Salman khan screams, sings, twists and rolls on the ground every weekend.
6. He embarrasses and tortures the male contestants as if he is the master in some bondage porn and they are his slaves.
7. He decides who should leave and win, VOILA, thats your Big Boss. Here and there, idiot endemol does the pseudo dance with antichrist as if Indian audiences care now! OOh, how creepy! you let yourself be bullied by some beings who are inferior than humans. Hope someday they force the main CEO to stay in pig blood for hours, heehee.