Exclusive: A page from Salman's Personal Diary

Salman Khan diary likh raha tha…
"Aaj meri bahan key yaha baby honay wala hai…
Pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki…
Iseliye mujhe yeh bhi pata nahi,
Ki mai mama banouga ya mami."

10 Best Sayings of 2013 About Salman Khan

Several people said several things about Salman. They are our national heroes because they protest against this hellraiser. We thank you all for your unwavering fight against this criminal. In honor of your bravery, we have collected 10 best statements ever made by you all. They are as follows:
1. SRK:- Mere paas Record hai, Award hai, Paisa hai, biwi hai.Tumhare paas kya hai

Salman:- Mere Paas Chutiye fans hain.

2. Attitude badshah jaisa hona chahiye, 

warna bodyguard to kutte bhi hote hai.

3. Raat mein chand ki roshni honi chahiye, 

Andhera toh Salman ke future me bhi hai.

4. On the day of Salman's court session why do bhaitards try to trend WeStandbySalman?

Its because they know that if they stand in front of him he will drive over them.

5. Once Salgay said that Apangg2 is the first hindi film that shows postmarriage  love between husband and
wife( Hala ki usne hindi me kaha tha,
coz English bolne ki aukaat toh uski
hai nahi).
.
My ans. to lallu:- Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Chalte Chalte, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum, dekha nahi kya bh. Aur tu to hum tumhare hain sanam me bhi tha.

Salman Jokes: Exam for Webmasters

1.Which  one of these is a peer to peer shared item?

a) Sohail khan

b) Salman Khan

c) Salim Khan

d) Arpita Khan

Correct Answer: c) Salim Khan who is shared between Salma and Helen khan. They are “peers” in marriage. Salim Khan used to do item dance behind hero and heroin back in the days. Hence, he was called Prince Salim.

2.Which of the following maliciously uploads porn spam?

a) Shera

b) Arbaaz

c) Tiger (Shera’s son)

d) Malaika

Correct Answer: d) Malaika. This ugly looking Trojan has a history with porn. In Dubai, once she was invited to dance at a family event. She destroyed it with her stripper acts.

3.Which of the following is the most searched term about Salman Khan?

a) Is Salman Khan Gay

b) Salman khan jokes

c) Salman khan nude

d) Salman Khan’s list of crimes

Correct Answer: a) Is Salman Khan Gay. It is proven by Google keywords tool and Ek tha Bandar blog stat.

4.Which one of these is a bot?

a) Arpita

b) Salma

c) Arbaaz

d) Helen

Correct Answer: c) Arbaz. This needs no explanation.

5.What of the following is considered spam?

a) Body Guard

b) Ek tha tiger

c) Dabbang

d) All of the above

Correct answer: d) all of the above. A very easy answer that everyone knows.

6.Which one of these is used to bring blackout to a website?

a) Arpita

b) Sohail

c) Salim

d) Shera

Correct answer: a) Arpita. In order to block people from viewing a website, upload  Arpita’s picture. It will automatically create blackout.

7.Which of the following should not have access to Internet?

a) Big B fans

b) Bhaitards

c) Madhuri fans

d) All of the above

Correct answer: b) Bhaitards. It is known that they use the Internet to abuse people who speak truth. They are also addicted to porn for which they are crazy about Salman stripper.

8. Which of the Trojans is lowering the value of Indian society with its malicious activities?

a) Atul

b) Sohail

c) Salman

d) None of the above

Correct answer: c) Salman Khan. With dirty item numbers, violent acts and media buying capability, he is brainwashing young people to commit horrible crimes like rape and murder.

Professional Conversation with Katrina Kaif

No, it was not us who talked to her. It was actually the favorite of all lower class animals, Salman Khan. How did the conversation go? The script is below:

New Jokes about Salman Khan

They are literally serious answers.

Shahrukh Khan Asks a Very Serious Question on KBC

KBC is a great program for gathering general knowledge. Once Shahrukh Khan used to host it. Back then a very important question was brought to attention in front of Salman Bandar Khan. Here you will get a glimpse of this. Note it down. Memorize it hard so you can show off your power in gk.

HOW TO BE A SALMAN FAN

This guide will help you become a hardcore Salman fan successfully.

 Step1: Abuse others.

Step 2: When you're losing an argument, say SRk buys awards

Step 3: Abuse others

Step 4: Say Srk is old, as if Salman has just come out of his mother's womb

Step 5: Abuse Others

Step 6: Say Srk works only for money, but you know he got UNESCO Charity Award. Dont listen to your mind.

Step 7: Abuse Others

Step 8: Call Srk a gay. But evry1 knws who is married and has children.

Step 9: Abuse others

Step 10: Say Srks last 3 movies were flop, but evry1 knows MNIK+R1+D2=763cr. (higher than Salman's last 3)

Step 11: Abuse Others

Step 12: Watch Srk movie trailers more than a Srkian

Step 13: Abuse others and repeat all the steps in your everyday life.

 Hints and Tips:

Resign from your work.Stay online all day. This is to practice the steps with better concentration.Forget about spending time with the family or having a life. They are strictly forbidden/haram in Salman's world. 

How Salman Khan Reacted to Katrina and Shahrukh Khan

Salman Khan Listens to Emraan Hashimi

Other Names of Salman Khan

Is Salman just Salman? Does he have any other name? Yes, he does….not just one or two, but plenty. For example:

• Salgayman

• Remake Khan

• Copycat

• Lallu

• Salman Bandar

• Nanga Khan, etc!

What Everyone Is Asking You to Do This Eid of 2012

Quiz: What is the name of Salman Khan's New Chewing Gum Ad?

Do you know the answer? It is quite easy.....just look at his movie's title. Still can't say? Don't worry, we have the name here.


It is called Ek tha boomer. Why you ask? Well, it is because as a monkey, he will end up swallowing it. You see, animals don't know much about such stuff. They will eat almost anything you give them...especially a monkey.

Grab the quiz in gif form and use it anywhere you like:

Shahrukh Khan in Dus Ka Dum with Salman Khan

Sallu Jokes Fresh Out of the Oven

1. Government should declare Salman as a porn star b'coz he removes his shirt in all his films.... :D

2. Public saying to salman "Tum ho chulbul pandey wapis movie banayi toh padenge Dandey"

3.Shahrukh Khan is a BORN STAR.. Where as SALMAN Is . . . . . . . . a 'PORN STAR'.. :) dono ka faayda nahi hoga,sirf us kutte(salman) ka faayda hoga...

4.After the release of Guzaarish Salman Khan said in a press conference dat "Ek Kutta Bhi Nahi Dekhne Gaya Tha Movie".....It means only dogs watch Salman Khan movies coz they r made for only them coz Ek Kutta Bhi nahi dekhne gaya tha movie means salman ki movies bahut saare kutte dekhne jaate hai...

5.Aamir: SRK,main tumhare tukde tukde kar ke Salman(kutte) ko khila dunga.. SRK:Aamir,isse tumhara aur mera,dono ka kuch fayda nahi hoga sirf us kutte Salman ka hoga heehaaa

Educate Yourself: 3 Salman Khan Facts

Why did Sallu's hardcore fans hate Ra.1?
A. Because at the end of Ra.1 the good wins over evil and Salman's fans like when evil wins over good.

Why does Salman Khan take off his shirt in a movie and it becomes a hit?
A. Because Salman knows his fans are homosexual and only way to make his nonsense movies hit is by taking off his shirt.

How many criminals died when Salman Khan was born?
A. Too many to count.

Sallu Joke: What's more stupid than Salman Khan movies?

Do you know the answer? No? Okay, then find this out from below:

Sallu Joke: A Conversation with Srk and Aamir

Salman:Meh is baar mera naya movie Bodyguard se tumhe defeat karunga!

SRK:Shahrukh ko harana mushkil hi nahin namumkin hai.

Aamir:Ok SRK I will tattoo it on my body so I never Forget It.

Spelling Checker Shows its Hatred for Aamir Khan

Sallu Joke: Bizarre Brain of Sallu Bandar Part 2

Salman driving on the WRONG SIDE of the road sadly says:
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Oh teri..!Aaj phir late ho gaya,
Saare log toh Waapis jaa rahe hain. . . . . . .








Join Ek Tha Tiger Hate Club

Sallu Joke: Sallu's Living Condition

Do you know why Sallu stays in Bandra?
Because bandra is similar to bandar.


Do you know why he lives in Galaxy apartment?
Because woh roz public say gali khata hai.

More of Sallu Jokes

What will a mother tell to her son sleeping on footpath...? . . . Uth jaa warna Salman aajayega........
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Salman ne apne lifetime me sirf ek dialogue sahi kaha hai: 'Mujhe Khud ko bhi nahi pata ki main kitna kameena hu' frm Wanted..
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Srk says to salman "Mujhe Andhera Pasand hai salman ke aane waale kal ki yaad dilata hai"
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Dur se dekha toh salman apni pant sukha raha tha...

Pass jaa kar dekha toh 'dhinka chika' dance kar raha tha...
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Teri Meri, Meri Teri Prem Kahani Hai Mushkil
this song is made by himesh for salman khan
because salman ki ek bhi prem kahani in relationship me barabarrehti nahi
instead himesh was saying salman a gay
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